In motherhood, especially new motherhood, it can be easy to neglect ourselves, our pleasure, and our ability to give love to ourselves as we are continually pouring our love outwardly into our baby, home, other children (if we have them) and partner (if we have).
Our most intimate body parts are also different now - their use and meaning has deepened and expanded.
Amongst the continual outpouring, it is easy to neglect the slower pace required to tend to these vulnerable parts of ourselves with tender loving care, appreciation and even admiration for the miraculous functions our body has taken on.
Our breasts, wombs, vulvas/vaginas are almost reinvented during these life stages as their literal shape, function, size, sensitivity - everything, has shifted!
We have carried & birthed new life, we are now sustaining & nourishing life, and we are navigating a new orientation in life that is shaped by dramatic hormonal shifts.
When it comes to motherhood, the expectation of "bouncing back to normal” and what-was-before is unrealistic and in disservice to the magnitude of this Rite of Passage. And within the realm of self-pleasure, the same foundational awareness applies.
With the knowing that it is important to care & connect with yourself as the woman & mother that you now are, you must approach this with an openness to diverse forms of nourishment that support the level of energy & time you have available.
With this, it is important to interweave the intention to appreciate, admire, & honour yourself for all you’ve done, and continue to do.
Suggestions and Rituals to Welcome Self Pleasure
Breasts: Your breasts are changing shape (especially in early motherhood) a LOT, like… all day long, every day! In what ways can you acknowledge your breasts for providing sustenance & comfort?
Practice: Daily breast massage to connect with the tissues and overall anatomy of your breast (including your nipples, shoulders, neck and rib cage). Find yourself an intentionally crafted Breast Oil (we love Pussy Butter™) and gift yourself with a devotional massage bi-weekly (with mini renditions daily).
Become present to the sensations as you massage your muscles and tissues. Create space between the tightened tendons and potentially knotted areas. While this practice need not be erotic, allow yourself to receive the pleasure from this devotional connection with yourself.
Vulva/Vaginas: One of my favourite experiences after giving birth to my second daughter was reconnecting with my vulva & vagina shortly after she had been born. Through this, I experienced a dramatic shift in how I viewed myself and the power of my pussy. Touching her again was like gracing God, and I was astounded by the recognition of how my tissues & entire anatomy had changed to open as a life-giving portal. I felt as though I was meeting myself again, and the reverence my pussy demanded was non-negotiable... she wanted to be felt thoroughly and to have each fold and tissue caressed with presence and care.
Practice: Self-massage while acknowledging the totality of yourself as a woman and now-mother.
Allow pleasure to support you in returning home to yourself, releasing built up pressure or tension, and connecting to your womanhood.
This can also be a time to enter into reparative connection with your vagina if you had a traumatic birthing experience.
Go slow, and allow for yourself to receive your own nurturance & devotion.
Written by Jordi Klassen