From a young age, women have been led to believe that our blood is not sexy and that we best keep it to ourselves, when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth.
Our blood is powerful, our sexual energy is potent, and when we combine the two, they are alchemized into a transformational experience for both you and your lover.
Connecting with our pleasure while we bleed, either with ourselves or a partner, can be a deeply healing experience. Not only are we more sensitive to sensation during this time of our cycle, our wombs crave intimate connection and loving touch as nourishment as well. Whether the thought of it makes you squeamish or excited, there are many benefits to exploring the medicine your blood has to offer.
During menstruation, we can feel discomfort in our bodies in the form of cramps, headaches and exhaustion. As our hormones and energy levels are shifting, we can become moody and feel easily overstimulated by the world around us. Pleasure is especially helpful for us when we are in these states because it allows us the opportunity to come back into our bodies, relax our nervous systems, and commune with our blood in a new way.
Sometimes our womb just wants to be left undisturbed to flow for the first day or two of our cycle, and sometimes we are so aroused by the excess blood flowing to our vagina/yoni, we can’t help but dive right in.
Here are some tips to support you in your exploration of period sex:
- Communication - If you want to connect intimately with your partner, share your desires honestly and ask how they feel about it. If either of you feel any hesitancy, be willing to talk about it, and have the courage to uncover the reasons behind your feelings. If you are both willing to go for it, share what feels good for each of you, whether that be oral, penetration with fingers and a penis, or both. If you will be pleasuring solo, speak to your womb. Let her know you wish to connect and ask her if she will be your guide along the way.
- Prepare your space - Once you have communicated clearly, take the time to set up your space so you can relax into self-pleasure or lovemaking with full presence and not worry about making a mess. Lay down a dark coloured blanket or towel if you are concerned about staining your sheets, and keep a couple extra ones close by if they are needed. You can also have a few cloths soaking in a bowl of hot water close by, so cleaning up is easeful and relaxing afterwards. If you are finding it hard to stop thinking about getting blood everywhere, you can light some candles and run a bath or have a shower with your lover - the warm water can feel extra soothing to your womb and bring yet another layer of pleasure.
- Move soft and slow - Begin by massaging your womb and belly with an organic oil, letting her know you are here and present with her. Because women are more sensitive to touch when we are bleeding, be generous with oil as you move from your womb to your vagina/yoni. Massage your vulva and clitoris softer and slower than you usually would with fingers or a pleasure wand, breathe deeply, and let your mind and body relax into the sensations that arise. If you start to feel overstimulated, slow your pace, or just press the palm of your hand into your vagina/yoni and breathe for a few moments. If you are receiving orally, gently sucking on the clitoris and circling around the vulva with the tongue will move you deeper into arousal without causing you to clench or squeeze your womb, which can lead to discomfort and cramping. You might just find that you are more easily turned on during your bleed, and that your blood is an incredible lubricant.
- When womb says yes, enter with care - Once you are generously aroused and well-lubricated, continue to ride the waves of pleasure by entering into the vaginal canal with either fingers, a tongue, a pleasure wand, or a penis. Move sweetly and slowly, offering an extremely loving and nourishing level of touch. Keep communication flowing between your womb and your partner, listening deeply to what feels really good, and what doesn’t. Allow yourself to surrender deeper into the sensations, and relax more fully into the present moment.
- Follow her lead - Stay connected to your womb as you deepen into pleasure; she may ask for breaks, where you can fill the space with delicious kisses or massaging your body with your hands. Sometimes when we are bleeding, we can access deep and long-lasting orgasms, and other times she desires to feel pleasure and connection without anything more. Listen closely to her voice, and she will guide you towards the perfect experience for you both, leaving you feeling supported, surrendered and totally turned on.
- Close your pleasure practice or lovemaking with gratitude - Whether your womb asks for hours of slow, sensual pleasure, or just a few minutes before she feels complete, it is important to offer her love. Snuggle up with your lover or bring one hand to your heart and one hand to your womb, and relish in her medicine with some deep breaths and a thank you for being willing to explore together during such a sacred time of your cycle. Feel your womb pulsing with delight, your thighs sticky and fully seduced, and your heart soft and open. When you are ready, use a warm washcloth to clean the blood off of you in reverence, and feel gratitude for the gift it is to experience life as a fully empowered woman.
Whether its your first time dipping your toes into the world of period sex, or you are a longtime devotee, know that your monthly bleed is nothing short of a sacred ceremony. You don’t have to cut yourself off from pleasure when you bleed, it is not taboo, it is a beautiful way to connect to yourself and your lover. Yes, period sex may be messy - but its also deeply healing, and magical as f*ck!
Written by Autumn Rose