There are many layers of depth to "surrender"...
There is the capacity to surrender to the inner wisdom within ourselves,
The capacity to surrender to a lover,
And the capacity to surrender to life.
No matter which angle we look at surrender from, all of these are connected in that they correlate with how deeply we can experience surrender in our own body.
The capacity to soften and open in surrender occurs when trust and safety are experienced in the body at a primal level.
Surrender is influenced by the state of the nervous system, and we can also see the state of our nervous system reflected back at us through the body's physical responses of openness, lubrication, & orgasm.
When we practice intentional and slow self-pleasure, we are interacting with the instinctual & responsive parts of ourselves, and building our capacity to trust & listen to them.
In other words, we are building our capacity to honour the wisdom of the body, and let the body guide us towards genuine surrender.
Exploring this grows our ability to surrender to more pleasure with ourselves, a lover, as well as in all the other areas of life.
However, the space that often gets overlooked in this kind of exploration is the anus. Which is one of the most potent spaces for exploring our ability to surrender.
This is because the anus cannot be forced to open (at least, not without pain, and we NEVER advise pushing through pain, especially when it comes to anal play).
The openness of the anus is purely reflective of the state of the nervous system, and thus it is a true reflection of the safety we feel in any given moment.
By exploring the anus, we can enter new ranges & depths of what it means to be vulnerable, open, release control, and deeply surrender - because we must become sensitive to what the body requires to allow this to happen.
One of the gentlest ways to begin exploring butt pleasure is to start with external massage before penetration. This is a great way to move beyond any emotional blocks, shame, disgust, fear, & trauma that can deter us from experiencing the immense pleasure that this part of the body offers.
In addition to our curved wands, which can all be used for anal play, we offer Crystal Butt Plugs - so you can honour the sacredness that comes with exploring this part of your body in a gentle and intimate way.
The Pink Aventurine Butt Plug is our smallest plug, recommended for beginners.