When you aren't experiencing the pleasure and sexual satisfaction you desire, it can be easy to assume something is wrong with you. However, your body already knows the path to pleasure when she is given the right conditions. So it's not that something is wrong with your body - it's that your body needs to be listened to more deeply.

Sexual wellness is about making small shifts that bring you back into connection with your body. When you're connected to your needs and able to consistently honor yourself, arousal, pleasure, and confidence flow naturally.

If sensation feels distant, if desire has been low, or if you just want a more satisfying experience, this guide is for you. These 30+ practical tips will help you wake up sensation, experience more safety in your body, release tension, and bring more pleasure into your daily life. No pressure, just real ways to reconnect with yourself so that you can hear your body's wisdom more clearly.

 

Your Body Is Speaking: Learn to Listen to Her Sexual Cues

Your body is constantly communicating her needs, boundaries, and longings. The more you pay attention to your sexual responsiveness, what feels good, what doesn’t, and what’s shifting inside you, the more naturally pleasure will flow.

Here’s how to start listening to the subtle signals:

1. Check in before & after sex: Where do you feel open? Where do you feel tense? Your pussy, womb, and heart hold the answers, but only if you’re willing to ask. You may be surprised at how clearly the "answers" arrive.

2. Breathe into your yoni daily: Full, deep belly breaths send oxygen, blood flow, and awareness straight to your pelvis. Plus, placing attention on your yoni more consistently will help you notice the subtle ways she communicates with you.

3. Yoni gazing: When was the last time you really looked at your vulva? Sit with a mirror and notice her shape, color, and energy. Embrace this like a meditative practice, where you lovingly release any stories or thoughts that arise and continue returning to the present moment.

4. Track your sexual desires without guilt: Grab a notebook and write down the things that turn you on, the fantasies that linger, and the thoughts that make you squirm. Don’t filter. Don’t censor. Just let it out and then read it back. See yourself clearly.

5. Ask your pussy what she wants: Place a hand over your womb or vulva and ask, “What do you need from me today?” Then be quiet and listen to the sensations, emotions, thoughts, or energies that arise.

 

Relax & Release: How to Let Go of Tension

Setting the intention to listen to your body and inviting her to speak are the first steps. Next, you can create more space to receive her "messages" through practices that promote relaxation and the waking up of tension, numbness, or overall lack of sensation.

Many women unknowingly carry stress in their pelvic bowl, making pleasure feel distant or dulled. These exercises can help. Relaxation and circulation are the keys to waking up sensation and allowing pleasure to flow naturally.

Here’s how promote relaxation and wake up sensation:

1. Massage your pelvic floor (internally & externally): Your vaginal walls hold stress just like any other part of the body can. Press into them gently. Try using a pleasure wand for a more focused massage. Some areas may feel sore or resistant, so approach them with gentle, mindful touch.

2. Stretch your hips & inner thighs: Tight hips = restricted blood flow = less sensation. Deep squats, hip openers, and butterfly stretches aren’t just for yoga class, they’re for better orgasms.

3. Practice perineal release: That small space between your vagina and anus is a tension hotspot. Use a soft ball or your fingers to press, hold, and let go.

4. Use breath & sound during sex: Deep, guttural moans aren’t just for your partner. They release tension, increase blood flow, and heighten arousal. Give yourself permission to be loud.

5. Try Yoni steaming: Herbal steam warms, hydrates, and softens vaginal tissues, helping with circulation, lubrication, and relaxation.

 

Rewild Your Pleasure: Undoing Sexual Conditioning

 

Most women have been taught to perform. We learned to moan at the right moment, to angle our bodies a certain way, or to focus more on how we look than how we feel.

But when was the last time you slowed down and asked yourself, ‘What would feel good to me, right now?’

Reclaiming your pleasure means breaking free from autopilot sex and tuning into what your body is calling for in the present moment, which is essential for addressing female sexual dysfunction.

This is where to start:

1. Ditch performative sex: Who are you having sex for? If you’re arching your back, moaning on cue, or rushing to an orgasm just to be “good in bed,” it's time to slow down and re-prioritize feeling good over looking good.

2. Explore pleasure without a goal: When was the last time you touched yourself just to feel, without rushing toward orgasm? Let your hands move over your body without pressure, just to see what lights you up. Give yourself permission to pause and breathe whenever you notice frozenness or numbness, rather than rushing past and seeking more sensation.

3. Expand your definition of arousal: Arousal isn’t just about physical touch. What scents, fantasies, movements, or even music awaken your body? Can you curate your life to include more of these things? Sexuality is a full-body experience. It starts in the mind, in the way you move, and in the way you feel when no one is watching.

4. Create a pleasure ritual: Light candles, put on music, and spend time touching yourself in a way that feels nourishing, not performative. This usually requires spending time allowing yourself to unwind and access a more relaxed nervous system state before expecting a peak pleasure experience.

5. Notice your entire body during sex: Move slowly. Breathe deeply. Rock your hips. Roll your shoulders. Drag your fingertips over your skin. The more fully you let yourself inhabit your body, the deeper your pleasure will be.

 

Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor for More Pleasure & Better Orgasms

 

A healthy pelvic floor is about flexibility, control, and responsiveness. When these muscles are weak, pleasure can feel muted, orgasms may lack intensity, and even everyday functions like bladder control can be affected, leading to painful intercourse. But if they’re too tight, penetration can be painful, arousal can feel blocked, and relaxation becomes difficult.

A supple, well-toned pelvic floor means deeper sensation, stronger orgasms, and a more connected experience with your body.

Here are some practices to explore:

1. Try yoni eggs for strength & sensitivity: These small, weighted stones activate your pelvic muscles in a way that builds both control and sensation. Start with a medium egg and practice engaging different areas of the vagina, depending how deep you place the egg inside you. It's best if you use a drilled yoni egg with string, so that you can pull down on the string while using your muscles to hold it in place. Do this rhythmically in time with breath, ensuring that you relax on the exhales. Using yoni eggs can also help alleviate sexual pain by strengthening and relaxing the pelvic muscles.

2. Use a crystal pleasure wand for de-armoring: If you feel numbness, tension, or pain inside your vagina, it’s likely your pelvic floor is holding onto stress, stored emotions, crossed boundaries, or unprocessed memories. A crystal wand allows you to apply gentle pressure to tight or numb areas, helping them soften and release.

3. Avoid overdoing Kegels: Not all pelvic floors need tightening! Many women already have a hypertonic (too tight) pelvic floor, which can make penetration painful. Learn to relax as much as you strengthen.

4. Do pelvic tilts to increase circulation: Rock your pelvis forward and back to stimulate blood flow and heighten arousal. More blood flow = more sensation. Doing this on your hands and knees while enjoying music turns this into a delicious sensual practice.

5. Try deep squats for pelvic mobility: Holding a low squat opens your hips, relaxes your pelvic floor, and increases flexibility, all of which make orgasms more intense and full-bodied. In your deep squat, visualize drawing your breath deep down into the pelvis, and notice if you can progressively release any effort or clenching associated with holding your squat.

 

Embracing Natural Lubrication & Overcoming Vaginal Dryness

If you’re reaching for lube the second things heat up during sexual activity, it's time to reconsider. Vaginal dryness is most often a sign that your body hasn’t caught up with your mind, and it's one of the most important indicators of true readiness for penetration.

Arousal is a full-body event, not just a vaginal response. If your mind is racing, if your nervous system is in overdrive, or if you’re rushing through foreplay, your body won’t open, soften, or self-lubricate in the way she's meant to.

Here’s how to wake up full-body arousal and let wetness happen naturally:

1. Give yourself more time: If you’re not wet yet, you’re not ready yet. Your body needs time to feel safe, activate deep arousal, and create natural lubrication.

2. Massage your breasts & inner thighs: The breasts and inner thighs are direct pleasure pathways that send arousal signals through your body. In addition, breast massage supports the heart to open, which can support an emotional state conducive of deeper arousal.

3. Enjoy touching & massaging the vulva and surrounding tissues: Rather than rushing towards penetration, explore various ways of massaging the vulva and pubic mound. This contributes to enhanced circulation and engorgement of the erogenous tissues in the pelvis. Plus, it can be super pleasurable!

4. Let your breath be the guide: Throughout your journey of arousal, notice your breathing patterns. If you find yourself holding your breath or breathing shallowly, let that be an invitation to incorporate more slow, full-body touch that can down-regulate the nervous system, enhance safety, and encourage arousal.

 

The Art of Intimacy: Connecting with Yourself & Your Partner

 

True intimacy involves feeling safe, seen, and deeply available for connection. If you’re checking out, holding back, or going through the motions, no technique in the world will make sex feel better.

Here’s how to deepen connection and amplify pleasure:

1. Learn to receive without guilt: If you struggle to say, Touch me like this, without feeling awkward or selfish, this is your starting point. Receiving pleasure is an act of self-trust. Start practicing without apologizing.

2. Create a sensory sex ritual: Engage all five senses before intimacy. Scents, textures, sounds, even the lighting in the room, all of it builds anticipation and deepens your body’s responsiveness.

3. Experiment with different types of touch: Run your fingers lightly over your skin, then press firmly. Trace circles, then grip. Arousal thrives in responding to what the moment calls for. Explore what makes your body come alive.

4. Use an intimacy blanket for playful exploration: If worrying about mess (lube, fluids, period sex) is keeping you from fully letting go, a waterproof intimacy blanket is the fix. No stress means more freedom.

5. Express during sex: If you feel awkward speaking up, start small - a whisper, a moan, a simple “yes.” Verbal expression builds deeper arousal and trust. The more you practice, the easier it gets.

Addressing the Physical Side of Sexual Health

Many women experience physical pain, painful intercourse, or a low sex drive at some point, and often, the root cause isn’t just in the mind, it’s in the body. Blood flow, hormonal changes, and pelvic floor health play a huge role in how much sensation, lubrication, and pleasure you feel.

The right treatment options, from pelvic floor therapy to nervous system regulation, can increase blood flow, restore sensation, and bring back deep, fulfilling pleasure.

Your body was made for pleasure. The more you understand its signals and support its needs, the easier it becomes to experience everything your sexuality has to offer.

What else could be affecting your pleasure?

• Tight pelvic floor muscles: A hypertonic pelvic floor can lead to painful intercourse, numbness, and difficulty orgasming.

• Blood pressure & circulation issues: Poor blood flow, from high blood pressure, certain medications, lack of regular movement, or hormonal shifts, can make arousal and orgasm harder to reach.

• Hormonal changes: Menopause, birth control, and other medications can impact natural lubrication, sensitivity, and overall pleasure.

• Underlying health issues: Conditions like depression, stress, or pelvic tension can reduce sex drive and make intimacy feel like a chore instead of a source of joy.

 

Seeking Professional Support When Needed

You deserve a body that feels good, responsive, and alive. And sometimes, that means getting the right support.

Don’t hesitate to ask for support for:

• Pelvic pain that won’t go away: Chronic tightness, endometriosis, vaginismus, or nerve issues could be at play. A pelvic floor therapist can help you release tension, restore function, and feel safe in your body again.

• Persistent vaginal dryness: Birth control pills, postpartum changes, menopause, or autoimmune issues could be at play. Or you may require support to uncover what helps to unlock a deeper level of arousal in you. A doctor or sex-focused health provider can help you find solutions that work with your body.

• Low libido linked to medications or hormones: Antidepressants, birth control pills, and even stress can zap your sex drive. If your libido feels chemically hijacked, it’s time to check in with a provider.

• Emotional blocks or past trauma affecting pleasure: If you freeze during intimacy, struggle to stay present, or feel shut down around sex, your nervous system is protecting you. A trauma-informed therapist or somatic practitioner can help you rebuild trust with your body and improve your emotional health.

Take Your Sexual Wellness to the Next Level

You’ve learned how to listen to your body, release tension, and reconnect with pleasure. Now, it’s time to go deeper.

Viva La Vagina™ 2.0 is an online membership for women designed to help you integrate these practices into everyday life so pleasure becomes effortless, natural, and fully yours.

Inside Viva La Vagina™ 2.0, you’ll:

• Strengthen your pelvic floor for stronger, deeper orgasms

• Unlock natural lubrication and awaken full-body arousal

• Explore guided yoni gazing, self-touch, and nervous system regulation

• Rewire your relationship with pleasure so it flows easily, without forcing

Join Viva La Vagina™ 2.0

Conclusion: Reclaiming Your Sexual Power

Sexual wellness is about deepening your connection with your body in ways that feel natural, fulfilling, and enjoyable. It’s about creating space for pleasure, tuning into your desires, and allowing yourself to fully experience what feels good.

Small shifts, breathing deeper, releasing tension, strengthening awareness—can open the door to more sensation, confidence, and connection. The more you listen to your body, the more she responds.

Your pleasure is yours to explore, nurture, and celebrate. Trust that everything you need is already within you, this is just the beginning.

 

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