In some phases of life, our libido thrives without much conscious thought or cultivation. Yet at other times, it can feel mysteriously absent - and we may feel unexplainably disconnected from our bodies and/or uninterested in sex.
This variation in libido can be normal and healthy, especially when we are experiencing major life transitions. But it can also feel concerning, especially when long periods of time pass by where the life-enriching desire for sex, pleasure, & intimacy is nowhere to be found.
While low libido can sometimes be an invitation to inspect our lives, careers, & relationships more deeply as a way of discovering what may no longer be nourishing or aligned, we can also view it as an opportunity to more actively prioritize our health & sensual pleasure on a daily basis.
Stress, overwhelm, poor food choices, minimal movement and a lack of overall joy and pleasure are serious mood killers. After all, if we don’t feel sexy and lit up in life, how can we expect our bodies to suddenly turn on and engage in sex?
In addition, our ability to connect to our senses is key for supporting the body’s relaxation and receptivity - two things that contribute to a thriving libido. This means that prioritizing pleasure through the senses more in our daily life can support arousal.
Regardless of whether you are currently experiencing a low or high libido, below we’ve provided some principles to support you in cultivating a thriving libido in your day-to-day life...
We can view our breath as our own inner lover. Breathing into our sex can be very nourishing and awakening. Where our breath goes, energy flows! When we bring our breath and awareness to our pussy, we can experience relaxation & sensation even before engaging in physical stimulation.
2. Eat like you love yourself.
Food is fundamental to our libido. Food that indulges our taste buds but leaves our bodies feeling heavy, sluggish or agitated is unlikely going to make us feel sexy, let alone turned on. Eating for clean energy and nourishment, and not overeating, is vital. (And no, I’m not suggesting you Google search the top known aphrodisiacs and start binge eating oysters and chocolate. I tried that, it didn’t work.)
Eating food that we love and can connect to with our senses helps us connect to our sensuality. My favourite food to connect to my sensuality is exotic fruit. I love taking my time to indulge in the smell, the way it feels on my lips and tongue, savouring the flavour, eating it with my fingers and letting the juices run. It’s literally a body reset both physically and energetically.
3. Move your body.
Dance, hip circles, squats and walking are my go-to’s for movements that support me to really feel my body. They are all simple exercises that stimulate more blood flow to the pelvis and support pelvic awareness. Next time you go for a walk - start by taking slow, deep breaths into your pelvis and feeling into your vulva with each step. Feel how your clothes feel against your skin, any sensation that arises, and notice if this shifts your mood.
4. Make sweet love to yourself.
Commit to a self pleasure ritual for a minimum of 3 times per week. Set a time aside for you and your pleasure, and go all out! Create an environment that you feel sexy and turned on in, and incorporate different props that excite you. Touch yourself the way you desire a partner to touch you and include your whole body. Make it fun and explorative.
Self-care is essential for cultivating a healthy and thriving libido. The more you care for your body and feel nourished from the inside out, the more pleasure and desire become a state of being rather than a goal or an outcome. So… wear clothes your body feels sexy in, have fun, lay in the sun, & make rest a priority!