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Feminine and masculine polarity in sex means he initiates, she accepts. He penetrates, she receives. He dominates, she submits. He ravishes, she surrenders. At least, that's one way it can look!
As polarity is so nuanced, it can be enlightening to look toward nature to observe how animals behave in order to fulfill their primal desires. After all, it is in the animal archetype where we gain access to our hunger for sex, and the insatiable, biological need for sexual connection, that serves a need far beyond procreation.
Feminine Energies and Their Role in Sexual Polarity
While role play can certainly allow for play and expansion beyond our natural embodiment, it is the simplistic nature of polarity that serves as the foundational blueprint in sexual dynamics. This can be expressed as one person leading and one following, or one person penetrating and one person being penetrated (energetically or physically).
Masculine Polarity and the Struggles of Modern Relationships
How do we meet these animalistic needs in a world that separates us from the natural energetic forces of polarity?
It seems all too common to hear examples of couples struggling sexually. For example, the busy corporate working woman is unable to turn off her drive and soften into her partner at the end of the day. Or the under-stimulated man, void of challenge, is unable to find inspiration to lead his partner in bedroom. Or how about the mother who's bitter and overworked, with seemingly no fire left within, struggling to sexually connect to her hard working man, under-nourished with a desire to escape rather than connect. Sound familiar?
These examples, while general, depict relationships not void of desire, but rather drowning in distractions that keep them in their head and out of the body. Bringing us to the very first step to getting your primal needs met in relationship.
Feminine Polarity: Reconnecting to Primal Desires
1. Get in your body
Reconnecting to primal desires means finding your inner animal. When we default to the thinking brain and the consciousness that separates us from animals, we can lose connection to our organic impulses. Perhaps your mind convinces you not to want something because it's wrong, embarrassing, an inconvenient time, or even undeserved. While logic can serve relationships, it tends to get in the way of sex. Let us not be in our heads, but instead fully claim the animal alive in us, as we bleed, birth, and evolve. We can do this through movement, dance, self-touch, exercise, and anything that puts us in touch with our senses.
2. Find your pole
Do you naturally gravitate to the feminine pole or the masculine pole? Don't let my examples of heteronormative relationships deter you from the true resonance of your body. In fact, don't let any behaviors or gender roles dictate your natural embodiment. Do you more easily take charge or surrender? I invite you not to choose the pole you're “better” at, but instead the pole that FEELS the best. Hopefully your partner feels the opposite!
3. Discover your range
How do you move within the guidance of your chosen pole? Notice I did not say limitations. Have you explored the edges of its darkness and lightness? Have you played with subtleties and grandiose gestures? The feminine pole may express herself as a submissive, surrendered, open flowery maiden. But she could also express as a slutty, bratty, kali ma goddess!
4. Ask
Perhaps the single most simple action that would get us closer to authentic polarized sex, is expression. Does your man know you want to be ravished? Desires, if left to the mind, can become scary to reveal, and yet they exist! On the contrary, when we free our desires, regardless of whether or not they manifest, we inherently become free OF them. How would it feel to claim the primal desire burning inside you?
Be free. Be raw. Be wild!
FAQ
Masculine and feminine polarity describes the magnetic charge created when two people embody opposite core energies, typically, one in masculine polarity and the other in feminine polarity. This dynamic fuels sexual energy, physical attraction, and long-term desire in relationships. It’s not about gender, it’s about the energetic qualities each person leads with.
The masculine core thrives in presence, direction, and purpose, this is the energy that problem-solves, stays steady under pressure, and leads with clarity. The feminine is all about receptive flow, deep emotions, intuitive response, and creative expression. When these energies meet, they generate sexual polarity, that electric connection you feel when someone makes you weak in the knees just by looking at you.
When both partners express the same type of energy, relationship polarity flattens. You might feel more like female friends or roommates. Without this polarity, even good relationships can feel stale or stuck. Polarity work helps you identify and embrace your natural energetic core, so you can bring that power into your connection and into bed.
Polarized masculinity and femininity means owning your natural energetic essence, and letting your masculine or feminine traits come fully online. A masculine partner might hold structure, take initiative, and create a strong container for intimacy. A feminine partner brings feminine energies of sensation, spontaneity, and emotional depth. This creates an erotic tension that feels undeniable.
When either partner hides their true core out of fear, shame, or societal conditioning, you’ll feel emotional disconnection, a lack of magnetic attraction, and feeling stuck in your head rather than your body. When you reclaim your feminine qualities or masculine traits, it’s not about control or hierarchy, it’s about playing your natural position in a way that brings flow, connection, and passion back to your sexuality.
In astrology, masculine and feminine polarity refers to the energetic flow of the signs, with each zodiac sign categorized as masculine (active, expressive, outward) or feminine (receptive, nurturing, inward). But even deeper, your natal chart holds clues about your masculine and feminine energies, where you act from your masculine core and where your feminine energy wants to be expressed.
Every successful relationship contains two energies that meet and move each other. Masculine energy leads with presence, clarity, and purpose. It sees the whole picture, holds space, and moves toward resolution. Feminine energy leads with emotion, expression, and body-based knowing. It responds, moves, reveals, and feels.
When one partner embodies masculine polarity and the other leans into their feminine polarity, there’s a magnetic attraction that can be felt in the body. The masculine partner wants to act, to penetrate, to make things happen. The feminine partner wants to be seen, held, and felt in her truth.
Polarity work helps couples restore this dance. If you’re both in the masculine, you’ll argue over direction. If you’re both in the feminine, you’ll feel lost, waiting for the other to lead. This isn’t about being “equal” in function, it’s about being equal in power while choosing to express your core values through your natural energetic lens.
Written by Megan Bloom Instagram @bloomingwombs