The Slow Self-Pleasure Ritual

If you are feeling called to incorporate slow self-pleasure rituals into your life, but you’re not sure where to start, we recommend that you begin by simply practicing being present with your body.

This can be done throughout the day by utilizing any pocket of time to slow down momentarily, bring your awareness inwards, let go of external stimulation, and explore the question: “how is my body feeling in this moment?”

This supports the development of body awareness, which is one of the most important aspects of a slow pleasure practice. 

As we become increasingly attuned to our body and the way she "speaks" to us, pleasure becomes more accessible due to our heightened sensitivity towards what we feel - physically, emotionally, & energetically.

From here, as we progress into practices involving self-touch and self-sex, we can actually listen to for the quality of touch that the body is asking for, rather than imposing our own agenda or ideas of what we assume "should" bring us pleasure.

As you begin to explore self-touch, using your hands or a self-pleasure tool such as a Crystal Pleasure Wand, it’s important to remember that the goal is not necessarily to “get off” or achieve an orgasm. Instead, the intention is to bring awareness more deeply into the body, explore sensation, and allow the body to guide you into surrendered pleasure.

Going slow is of utmost importance because when we slow down, we create space for ourselves to become aware of the subtleties that touch and stimulation can activate in the body - such as emotional responses (eg. joy/grief/shame), physical responses (eg. tension/relaxation/pain/pleasure), and even deeper insights about the truth of our hearts and who we are.

By allowing these sensations to move through us in whatever form they need to be, may it be through tears, rage, silence, sounds, movements, or whatever feels most authentic, we begin to to "occupy" more space in our own body and can move through life in a more connected fashion.

This is ultimately supportive of living an aligned & pleasurable life.

Here is a gentle practice to explore slow-self pleasure with your hands or a Crystal Pleasure Wand:

1. Begin by laying on your bed with your wand (or palms) on your breasts. 

2. Just breathe here, letting go of the need to do anything but tune in to the sensation within your body as you begin to deeply relax. 

3. Once you have allowed your body to relax and your heartbeat to slow, you can begin to move with your hands/wand across your body, however you feel called to.

4. Massage your breasts and stomach, or drag your wand/fingers gently inside your inner thighs. Explore your body and notice what kinds of sensations are evoked by your own touch. 

5. Once you begin to feel arousal from your touch, and your Yoni is beginning to enliven, progress towards connecting with her slowly and gently. 

Note: Do not force yourself towards penetration if you do not feel aroused by touching and massaging your own body. Simply allow yourself to be where you are at, and let the practice only go as far as what is enjoyable for you in the moment.

6. Explore your vulva slowly and gently, massaging your lips between your fingers and tracing the wand around the entrance to your Yoni. Continue this until you can feel that she is inviting you to go inside of her. Again, if you do not feel that she is opening up and beckoning you to enter her, do not force this to happen. Many people find that it takes time to cultivate genuine trust with oneself before feeling ready for penetration in a solo-sex practice.

7. When your Yoni is asking to be penetrated, then slowly insert the wand. Notice the sensations that this evokes within you. Remember to breathe, and only go as deep as your Yoni is inviting you to go.

8. Let go of all the instructions you’ve ever heard about what you should do, as well as any patterns you’ve built around what you know feels good. 

9. You may find there are spots that feel tender, or places that you don’t feel anything at all. 

10. Breathe into those places, and invite your body to soften into your touch, but again do not use force to push yourself into going deeper…

11. Even if nothing you do brings pleasure, this doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

12. As you deepen your capacity to be present through all the sensations that arise, naturally your capacity to feel pleasure will increase as well…

The greatest gift you can offer yourself on the journey of Slow Self-Pleasure, is to take your time, listen to your body, and simply BE with yourself wherever you are at. This self-permission in itself can be profoundly transformative & healing, and creates space for deeper pleasure & orgasmic experiences to emerge.