Women have been fed a concoction of lies and half-truths for hundreds, if not thousands of years. Out of everything we’ve been taught, the myth of the tight pussy is probably the most detrimental to our pelvic health.
We’ve all heard the phrase “tight pussy” and how men adore them, put them on a pedestal, and dream of having a partner who keeps it “nice and tight” down there.
We’ve been conditioned to think that having a tight pussy will make us better lovers; let’s uncover some pieces around this myth and why it is so damaging for women.
Our wombs are made up of organs and soft tissues held in place by our fascial network and muscles that connect to our pelvis. Our uterus sits in the center of our pelvic bowl, and is said to be the center point of our bodies, whereas for men it is the chest. When our pussies are “tight”, it actually means that our tissues, muscles and fascia are dehydrated and unable to move and stretch properly as a result.
There are a myriad of things that can cause our womb to be tight, including scar tissue, sexual trauma, and cellular malnourishment. A tight pussy can be problematic for the physical health of our wombs, which in turn, affects us in every other facet of our lives.
Healthy muscles and fascia are soft, supple and stretch with ease, granting us with the gift of mobility. When the muscles and fascial network tighten, we become rigid in our pelvic movement. Simple things like walking, cycling and even doing squats can become painful for us. Our muscles and tissues should be supporting the organs in our womb, but when they become tight, over time they start to pull our uterus off-center.
Because our uterus is the center point in our bodies, when she is off-center, so are we. It forces us to lose our balance, and even changes the way we walk, sit and move in the world. Our blood circulation gets cut off, which affects the health of the tissues in our wombspace. Tight fascia puts tension on the uterus, and causes her to change her positioning in the womb, which can lead to a uterine prolapse.
Women with tight pelvic tissues also can have trouble eliminating all of their urine at once, and it’s common to leak after you have finished going to the bathroom, which is caused by restriction of the urethra. Not only does the uterus, bladder, and vaginal canal suffer, but tight tissues put added stress and tension on the cervix and ovaries as well. This leads to discomfort and pain not only during intercourse, but during ovulation and menstruation.
So what is the remedy for a tight pussy? Luckily there are many ways to help bring nourishment, ease and relaxation back into your wombspace.
Here’s some powerful ways to bring healing and relaxation to your womb:
Womb breathing is a practice of taking deep and slow breaths into your womb, allowing your diaphragm to relax and all the tissues in your womb to relax and release. You can visualize any tension melting away with each breath, and pay attention to the subtle movements in your pelvic bowl as you breath. You can breathe in for four counts and exhale for eight, pausing for a moment in between each inhale and exhale.
Another great technique is “box breathing” which is amazing for calming the nervous system. Breathe in through your nose for four counts, hold it for four counts, exhale through the mouth for four counts, and then hold it for four counts before breathing in again.
Slow, present breath work is very calming for your nervous system; the vagus nerve (the largest nerve in your body) terminates at the cervix - when the vagus nerve relaxes, so does the womb.
Yoni Massage is a great practice to incorporate into your personal pleasure practice. High quality organic cold-pressed castor oil is best to use because it rehydrates the tissues and is soothing for your womb. By incorporating slow breath and movement, you can massage your vulva, clitoris, vaginal canal and cervix, allowing yourself to be intuitively guided.
Instead of touching yourself to evoke pleasure, touch yourself to nourish yourself with your love. Move your fingers in slow circles, with medium to firm pressure. Whenever you find a place that feels tight or numb, stay and linger in that specific area, breathing into the places of tension, and gently working the tissue with your thumbs, slowly stretching the tissue out from the place of tension.
When you come across scar tissue, tend it with care, stretch it gently, and speak to your tissues - letting them know it is safe to relax and release, they don’t need to hold on anymore.
De-armouring is a powerful way to build trust and safety with your womb. Using your favourite pleasure wand and organic oil, let yourself be guided to all the places in your womb that are calling for loving touch. The wand utilizes the same techniques as the yoni massage, but with added length and firmer pressure for the hard to reach spots.
Move along the vaginal canal, stopping, breathing and massaging every little place that feels tight, painful, or numb. When you arrive at the cervix, you can draw small circles around the face of the cervix, or use the wand to palpate all around the very top of the vaginal canal, moving slow and allowing your cervix to show you where she needs to soften. Try massaging her from different angles, and breathe deeply into her, letting her know she is safe here and it’s okay to let go.
Yoni steaming is very supportive for tight tissues, as the steam combined with the medicinal properties of the herbs has the ability to deeply relax all the tissues, muscles and fascial networks of the womb. Use herbs that are safe for steaming and offer relaxing properties: some favourites are rose, lavender, motherwort, mugwort and calendula. (Our sister site TheEmpoweredWoman.ca offers yoni steaming herbal blends & how-to wisdom in the shop & blog).
You can add a pinch of good quality sea salt and steam for twenty to thirty minutes a few days a week. It is not recommended to steam while you are bleeding, and if you feel discomfort in your pelvis, offer your sit bones some extra support with a rolled up towel or small cushion.
A note on yoni eggs - Yoni eggs are an incredible practice for connecting with your womb, awakening your tissues and bringing awareness and presence into your pelvic bowl. However, if you are experiencing pain, discomfort or numbness from tight tissues, I suggest refraining from using a yoni egg. Considering the muscles and fascia are already under stress, the subtle weight of the yoni egg can actually be too much for them, and can lead to worsening of symptoms by placing excess strain on them.
Utilize the other practices until you experience an improvement in your tissues, and even then, begin practicing with an egg slowly, lying down with it inserted for five to ten minutes before practicing with it standing up. Kegels or yoni yoga exercise is not recommended at this time; just as you would move slowly into exercise with an injury, use the same caution when dealing with tight tissues so you can actually heal and not worsen symptoms.
If you have tried all the practices shared here, and are not experiencing any improvement, then seek support from a pelvic floor therapist you trust. They can help you to locate deeper seated issues, and offer proper exercises that are suitable for tightness without putting too much strain on your womb.
So, as we can see, a tight pussy is not optimal for any woman who desires to feel open, sensual pleasure in her womb. A tight pussy may be glamourized in rap songs and porn culture, but is actually harmful to the health of our wombs and pelvises. Let your pussy be soft, surrendered and supple so she can move and dance through life with you.
Support her and nurture her, and she will do the same for you. Breathe with her, massage her, love her up - and encourage her to unwind any tension she is holding. This world is full of beauty; allow yourself to meet life expanded, open, and nourished in your heart, mind and womb.
Written by Autumn Rose
Instagram @embodyjaguar
Written by Autumn Rose
Instagram @embodyjaguar