When it comes to matters of intimacy and connection, the ancient practice of Tantra offers a unique perspective. Often misconstrued as merely a sexual practice, Tantra is a journey of embracing the present moment, a dance of consciousness that extends to all aspects of life, including the bedroom. As Osho aptly said, "Tantra is not technique but prayer. Is not head-oriented but a relaxation into the heart."
Tantra is an ancient Indian poetic metaphor guiding towards oneness and divine love. When looked at this way, we can understand that Tantra is an art form, and the canvas is the activity of our choosing.
Mindful presence is the key that unlocks the door to practicing tantra. From this state of complete awareness we can engage in a deep and profound way with the world and with others.
A Shift in Perspective: The Present Moment
Tantra invites us to immerse ourselves fully in the now; to explore every sensation, every touch, with a heightened awareness. Beyond the physical, it encourages a connection that encompasses the emotional, spiritual, and energetic dimensions. In Tantra, the bedroom becomes a sacred space, a temple of exploration where partners engage in a dance of love and mindfulness.
Tantra is not solely about technique; it's a state of consciousness, a state of being in the here and now. When applied to the bedroom, this principle transforms lovemaking into a meditation, a union of souls in the present moment. It's about savoring each touch, each caress, with a deep awareness that transcends physical sensations.
Through Tantra, couples can move beyond the mechanical aspects of lovemaking and cultivate an intimate connection that goes further than the physical act. The art of Tantra is rooted in the heart, in letting go of inhibitions and ego, and embracing the divine within each other.
Tantra is about PRESENCE.
In order to be fully present, we must slow down.
The Alchemy of Tantra
Tantra challenges the notion that pleasure is solely a physical sensation. Instead, it teaches us that pleasure can be an expansive experience that includes our whole selves; body, mind, and spirit. We want to push the boundaries of what we thought pleasure was, and discover a new, deeper form of intimacy.
Sexual energy is a special force that can be utilized for manifestation and creation, with a partner or alone. Tantra is a practice, like a ritual, that focuses on delving into the richness of every sensation, every emotion. Embracing the fullness of the tiny pieces that make up an experience. Honoring each segment and then releasing with non-attachment as the crest falls.
I will share a few techniques that have proven effective time and time again to drop myself and my partner back into the space of sacred intimacy.
From this place, you can choose the pathways you explore. Focus on the gift of connection, and be here now.
Remember, the most important piece is to always come back to your breath. Let your breathing guide you…
Here are some simple practices:
Eye Gazing
This practice can be done gazing into a mirror or gazing into your partner's eyes. The purpose of this practice is to see the being in front of you.
1. Sit comfortably facing your partner. This practice is supposed to feel good, so sit in a way that makes you content. You have the choice to touch or not, but it can empower the connection to have a physical anchor.
2. Begin with taking slow, deep breaths together while gazing into each other’s eyes. The goal is to gaze with both eyes looking straight into the eyes of your partner. If this is challenging, begin by focusing on their left eye, which is connected to the right brain, and gradually open your gaze to include both eyes.
3. In the beginning, this practice may feel intense and or uncomfortable. Start with short amounts of time (you may like to set a timer), and remember that you are venturing below the surface level layers of awkwardness to the depths of intimacy.
5. If you become overwhelmed by the intensity, softly close your eyes for a moment and then come back to the gaze.
6. Practice this before or during love making to deepen the connection and move together.
Synchronized Breathing
Breath is a powerful tool in the realm of Tantra. It serves as a bridge between the physical and the spiritual, uniting partners on a profound level.
1. Begin by sitting comfortably, facing each other. Place your hands on each other's hearts, feeling the rhythm of your breath and heartbeat.
2. Inhale deeply and exhale slowly, syncing your breath with your partner's. Let your breaths become a harmonious rhythm, a shared dance of life.
3. As you breathe together, visualize an exchange of energy. This practice fosters a deep sense of connection and attunement. It reminds you that you are breathing as one, sharing the same life force.
Sensory Exploration
In Tantra, the body is a sacred landscape to be explored with reverence and curiosity.
1. Begin by taking turns blindfolding each other. This heightens the other senses, enhancing the experience of touch, taste, sound, and scent.
2. Use a variety of textures – feathers, silk, soft fabric – to gently explore each other's skin. Let your fingers become an extension of your consciousness, mapping the landscape of your partner's body.
3. Experiment with different sensations – light touches, gentle strokes, and even contrasting temperatures with ice or warm oil.
4. Encourage verbal communication throughout the experience. Express what feels pleasurable, what resonates, and what you'd like more of. This mutual exchange of desires fosters an atmosphere of trust and understanding.
The journey of Tantra in the bedroom is an intimate adventure of presence.
It's like diving deep into a sea of vulnerability + connection, while staying in your power. Just as artists embrace every stroke, Tantra encourages us to explore fully the canvas of the present moment.
In this dance, we embrace the spontaneity of the art. We let our bodies and hearts take the lead, fully present and synchronized. It's not about perfect technique; it's about slowing down and meeting each other in a completely immersive presence.
So, shed the inhibitions, and let the art of Tantra guide you. It's a playful reminder that true connection thrives when we surrender to the rhythm of the moment.
Written by Amber Jade
Instagram: @thriving.wild
Written by Amber Jade
Instagram: @thriving.wild