(Re)Igniting Your Sex Life With Role Play

It’s normal to create sexual habits, from the way we self-pleasure, to the way we orgasm.
Especially in relationship, we naturally find our “role.”
The way we initiate sex, the way we engage in foreplay, the way we have sex, and the after play, all become areas where we can find comfort in knowing what to expect with our partners.

But what about when fresh energy is necessary? When the “routine” starts to feel stagnant, boring, or mundane. Are you brave enough, or motivated enough, to switch it up!?

I’m not saying you have to knock on your lover’s door in a trench coat pretending to be someone else (though that’s an option!). But role play can be a fantastic way to refresh the energy and step outside of your day to day character.
Now, before you go stressing about props and memorizing lines, this isn’t a pornography film, and it doesn’t have to be that complicated.

Here are two simple ways to explore role play:

Who are you normally, and what feels like the total opposite?
Are you a mom-in-sweat-pants kind of girl who could get all dressed up, heels included?
Are you generally the receiver of sex who lets him do all the talking? Maybe this time you’re the initiator.
Do you often wear black and channel a darker seductress? What would it feel like to channel your inner angel, all in white?
She could be the submissive, nice girl this time.
Are you always in the bed, after lights? What kind of character chooses the kitchen in midday instead?
How about the foreplay? What if you set the timer this time and demanded it last for an hour?

Role play can be such a great way to not only switch up the energy in your sex life, but also your daily reality.
The creativity and courage required to become someone new might become the catalyst to start up that new project, make a new friend, confront your boss, or say yes to that scary thing. This is because role play helps us to meet our “edge.” (You know! That intimating place where are nervous system says RUN!)
But the practice of meeting your edge, and consciously choosing to take another big step, naturally becomes the embodiment practice for expansion in all areas of life.
Sometimes changing your role is as simple as changing the dynamics. I’m talking about dom/sub or even masc/fem if that frame suits you more.
Though you might be quite fluid in your sex life, it’s likely that you are more likely to be in one of these energies. So what if you chose the opposite, and amplified it!?

How deeply can you step into the dominant role? What would your dominant character wear? What language would she use? Would she bring ropes, hot wax, or other props? What kind of setting would she create and how would she hold that container? Where would she take her submissive? How far would she push them? How would she receive pleasure from the experience? What could she control? What animal would she embody?

What about your submissive role? How could you ignite the dominant in your partner through submission? What postures would you take? Would you ask (or beg) for anything specific? How deeply could you surrender? In what way would you showcase that beyond your normal receptivity? How could you elevate your partner through these energetics?

Yes, this practice really is about the amplification. It can feel like a lot of energy, and sometimes when things are feeling dull, that exactly what we need.

Practices like role play can be as fun and spontaneous, or curated as you like.
Can you imagine the excitement and feeling of devotion, to receive an act so bold by your lover?

And don’t worry, it doesn’t all depend on the lover. In fact, some of best characters and rope ties have been birthed in the reflection of my mirror.

Written by Megan Bloom
Instagram @bloomingwombs