Pregnancy is a portal that every maiden must walk through to receive her child; it is the training ground for Motherhood.
As women, our bodies are incredibly wise and know how to expand with us as we expand further out into our lives. Our wombs know how to stretch and open, our breasts know how to nourish our babies, our hormones dance to their own rhythm without us having to play any music.
Our bodies know, and nothing shows us the power of their wisdom quite like pregnancy.
Where pregnancy is the training for Motherhood, pleasure is the training for birth.
Conception is the spark of light created from the fires of love, passion, and pleasure.
And because of the way our wombs are wired, the same way we open to receive our partner’s sexual life force, is the same way we birth our babies.
Your sensuality and sexuality are sacred tools that you can use to unlock new levels of self. If you’ve ever had an orgasm that changed your life, then you know - pleasure opens us up to new realms and shows us that feeling good in our bodies changes the way we experience life.
So when it comes to talking about pleasure during pregnancy, it can feel taboo and bring up a lot of shame, resentment and sticky feelings around self worth. Some common responses from pregnant women when asked about their sex life are “I don’t feel sexy," “I have zero desire for sex," and “its kinda weird with the baby in there."
We have been told a story that pregnancy makes you feel like crap, takes its toll on your once “hot” body, and dampens your sex life forever.
And while these feelings can make you feel lonely or disconnected when they arise, it’s important to remember that pregnancy is an invitation to connect to our bodies.
Many women have learned to use their womb as a dumping ground for all the unprocessed trauma, fear, shame, grief and anger they have experienced in their lives. If we can’t deal with something, or are unwilling to face ourselves, we have the tendency to shove it all down into the darkness of our wombs where we can’t see it.
But the thing about babies is that as they grow, they require more space in our wombs. So this means that everything that has been shoved into the womb will begin to be pushed back up, which means that you will have to look at it and feel it again.
Now there is a choice point here - choose to not deal with this pain, or choose to face it and transmute it.
And guess what becomes a powerful tool to alchemize? Pleasure.
When our wombs speak to us, it is our responsibility to create the time to truly and deeply listen to what she is saying. Just like you make space to connect to your baby, you can connect to your womb.
Here is a practice to get you started:
Create a warm, cozy environment for you to drop into your body. You may wish to support yourself with pillows and blankets to create a “womb-like” environment where you can surrender, relax and let go.
You can set the vibe with incense, music, or candles. Let your hands rest on your womb and just listen for a few cycles of breath with her. You can speak an intention or prayer out loud to your womb, letting her know you wish to connect, listen, and receive her guidance.
Using your fave organic oil, begin to lovingly massage your breasts and belly (you may find doing this in front of a mirror to be healing if you are experiencing feelings of low self worth around your changing body).
You can speak words of beauty and healing over your breasts, heart, womb and body, offering your gratitude to them for all they are doing to grow your baby.
Using your breath, drop your awareness from the mind down into the womb, and let your hands start to slow and be guided intuitively.
Once your breasts, heart, womb and belly have been loved up, you can place your palm over your yoni and ask her permission to connect deeper with her.
Once you receive her yes, you can begin to massage her, being sure to move softly and slowly.
As you massage her petals, imagine your birth and sense how your womb needs to be touched and tended to now in order for her to open to her fullest during birth. Ask her to guide you to every place she needs to release tension, trauma or stuck emotions. Allow yourself to sink deeper into the sensations of pleasure, relaxing more and more with each breath. You may wish to stretch out your vulva, or massage by sliding your fingers up and down each side of your vaginal opening with firm pressure.
Your ability to connect with and massage your yoni, muscles and tissues now will train her to relax, release and feel good as you grow further into your pregnancy and closer to birth.
Once she feels nourished and tended to, you can ask her permission to enter. When she says yes, ask for your fingers to be guided to where they are needed.
Allow your breath to be fluid and rhythmic, and let your fingers massage slowly and when you feel a place of numbness, discomfort, or pain, allow for some deeper pressure and touch until the area feels released.
Remember that as your pregnant body is changing, so is your womb. So don’t be surprised if new sensations arise or something that used to feel good doesn’t anymore - simply drop back into her guidance and see where she takes you.
Once you are well lubricated, you may wish to use a pleasure wand to access deeper within and add more pressure for the places that are calling for it. As you breathe and journey further into the sensations of pleasure, allow yourself to soften, to open, and to receive.
Connect to your cervix, and ask her how she would like to be tended to so that she can trust and open. Let the waves of bliss flow through you, dissolving any pain in the body, feeling connected to your baby, opening your heart to the moment.
If you are guided towards experiencing orgasm, envision and feel it washing your womb clean, moving out all the sticky thoughts, feelings and emotions, and creating more spaciousness in your womb and heart.
Whether you are experiencing pleasure with a partner or just yourself, allow space and time for you to relish in the yummy, blissful feels in your body. Snuggle, breathe, and rest in the aliveness you feel after connecting to your womb and baby in such a powerful way.
You may wish to share a prayer for your birth, or inwardly ask your baby and cervix any questions you have for them, and listen for the answers they share.
Mamas, we know that pregnancy opens up a whole new world, and with that comes new challenges and new terrain to traverse. Please know that whatever comes up for you around sensuality and sexuality, it is your womb calling you back to her. So many of us have spent most of our lives being disconnected from our wombs. Our children come to teach us many things, but the first thing they ask of us is to come back home to our wombs.
Written by Autumn Rose