Films and TV shows often depict masturbation as a solo-quickie under the duvet covers or something done whilst watching porn or other visually stimulating content.
While we might not always have the time to light candles, play some music, and set the mood before engaging in solo pleasure, practicing mindful masturbation now and then can be beneficial for the mind, body, and spirit.
Benefits of mindful masturbation include: cultivating a deeper connection with your body, experiencing more intense orgasms, increased self love, a powerful manifestation practice, as well as gaining more understanding of what really brings you pleasure.
Mindfulness refers to the state of being conscious & aware, and acknowledging our feelings, bodily sensations, and thoughts without judgement.
The lack of judgement allows us to be free of worry about how we may look or sound, and gives us permission to get out of our head and into our body and the moment of pleasure.
Here are some steps you can take to begin practicing mindful masturbation:
Step 1: Commit to releasing any negative beliefs you may have around solo pleasure and your body.
Any feelings of guilt, dirtiness, or shame - whether about your body or masturbation - let them go…
Maybe you were taught that masturbation is sinful, or that women shouldn’t masturbate because it’s ‘dirty.’
All these negative beliefs are untrue. Pleasure is your birthright - remind yourself of this as often as you need to!
By giving yourself permission to access & activate your pleasure, and love & accept your raw, naked self, you open yourself up to magic. (And powerful orgasms!).
Step 2: Create space & time where you won’t be rushed or interrupted.
Worrying about if your dog is going to scratch at the door, or whether your Amazon package is going to be delivered isn't going to help you relax and get in the headspace for some mindful solo pleasure.
Having space to relax and release any vigilance around your to-do list will be conducive to the safety needed to feel your body more deeply and acknowledge any thoughts, feelings, and sensations that arise.
Step 3: Indulge in your senses.
You have 5 senses, use them! Light a candle or some incense and bring some calming scents to your environment.
Or how about engaging your sense of touch, and beginning your pleasure practice by trailing your hands along your body with some body oil?
Set the tone by playing some slow and sensual music, and bring your awareness to how your body is feeling in the moment.
Slowing things right down during your pleasure practice enables you to get creative with engaging your senses, and makes for an amazing time!
Step 4: Bring your awareness to how your energy and body feels.
One thing I like to do when practicing mindful solo pleasure is focusing on my sacral chakra - this energy centre is the seat of your pleasure, and is located just below the navel.
As you find yourself close to orgasm, bring all your attention to this part of your body, and breathe deeply into this area. Then, at the point of orgasm, allow yourself to let go fully, and imagine the energy flooding in, around, and out of your body. Expect magical things to happen.
Step 5: Put down the porn, clear your imagination.
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of visual stimulation - whether you're watching some porn or thinking about previous sexy experiences. But again, this can take you away from the moment, moving you out of your body and back into your head.
Focusing on something on a screen or in your mind’s eye makes it difficult for you to be conscious and aware of your bodily sensations and thoughts in the moment, which is what mindful masturbation is all about!
If you’d like visual stimulation, why not try your pleasure practice in front of a mirror? Though it might feel incredibly vulnerable at first, it can open you to whole other depths of self love.
Above all, have fun! Release any expectation or pressure on yourself, and give yourself permission to fully enjoy and experience the moment. Because it’s what you deserve.
Written by Gabrielle Joy
Instagram: @shetheforce