We culturally know and understand the definition of pleasure to be “a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment”, but to anyone who has explored the limitless edges of pleasure within their own soul knows that trying to define something so cosmic as pleasure is laughable.
Why? Because pleasure isn’t some destination on a map that you have to get to. It’s all right here and its wisdom is available for you to tap into and receive from in every moment. It is multidimensional and multilayered; it shape-shifts to meet you as you change and grow. It doesn’t matter whether you are just beginning a pleasure practice or you are further down the path in your self-mastery; pleasure will always show you where you are afraid to trust yourself and life, and dive deeper.
Sexual energy is powerful, and the intimate experience of making love to yourself or your beloved is one of the most powerful mirrors we have. How we express ourselves, move our bodies and our ability to give and receive - it is all a direct reflection of how we express, move, give and receive in all facets of our lives.
When we come up against a wall in our capacity to receive pleasure in the bedroom, the first place we need to bring our awareness to is our relationship to self.
This is an invitation to pay closer attention to the sneaky ways in which we refuse ourselves the erotic experience of receiving our own love. Cultivating this self-awareness is key because it lays the foundations to truly surrender to the love of God, our beloveds, our sisters, our brothers and all of life.
You can begin to train this muscle by asking yourself and your body these simple questions, then opening fully to receive the answer:
“How does my body desire to be touched/caressed/held in this moment?”
“What food/nourishment/medicine would bring my body the most pleasure right now?”
“Where can I soften and surrender more to bring my full presence into my body?”
Once we start to truly listen to our bodies and give ourselves what we really need, we unlock the next level of receiving and all of a sudden, we can feel how much love and pleasure life is offering us.
Here are some tips to assist you in accessing new levels of receptivity during lovemaking and self-pleasure:
1. Love on your heart and breasts! We place so much importance on the womb, but our heart and breasts must open and receive before our yonis. This is the penetrative centre for women, and the more time spent here before moving on towards the womb will ensure she feels surrendered, safe and ready to receive pleasure deeply and fully.
2. When you reach a plateau of sensation, release the desire to be anywhere else and come fully into this moment. Each layer of pleasure offers us a rich landscape to explore ourselves, our beloveds, and our connection to the Divine. Allow yourself to stay long enough to receive the hidden treasures right here.
3. Check in with the positioning of your body. Are you lifting your head and neck off of the bed? Are you squeezing or contracting anywhere in your body? Is there another position that would feel more comfortable for you? You can always ask you body what she needs; hearing and fulfilling her desires will assist you in reaching the next level.
4. Stop to soften and unfurl the heartspace again and again. You can roll your shoulders up and back, releasing any tension around the chest and shoulders, and imagine her blooming like the most beautiful flower. Release the core and lengthen your torso to allow the energy to flow from womb to heart more gracefully.
5. Invite sound into the space! If we are afraid to make sound, we are afraid to go deeper - period. Let those big sighs out, let the mmmmmmmmmssss and ooooooohhhhhsss flow. This is why women make deep sounds during labour, because it opens up the womb. Give yourself permission to let pleasure sing through you!
6. Breathe. The number one reason we hit a wall during lovemaking is because we stop breathing, and when we stop breathing, we stop the flow of life force in our bodies. Cadence breathing is a simple technique and helps you to stay embodied and present - breathe in for four counts and then breathe out for six counts. Even a few cycles of breathing in a slow, steady rhythm is powerful enough to bring you back into full presence, through which you can access the next level.
7. Come into your primal body. Sometimes we get stuck in our human head and it cuts us off from the magic of the moment. If you notice yourself in the mind, invite yourself to come back into your body through primal sensation. This can be an invitation to use fingernails, teeth, or saliva to up the level of sensation, which can naturally drop us a layer deeper into our bodies and activate new levels of turn-on.
As we explore this concept of deepening into our ability to receive pleasure, we can see that it has a lot to do with our ability to be present with ourselves.
Our pleasure is sacred and it is our responsibility to tend to and come to know. The more we can listen to our bodies, the more we can know our bodies and begin to pick up on the subtlest of cues that they are giving us.
As we organically attune to receiving more sexual pleasure, we become softer and more sensual in every other slice of our lives. We begin to give and receive with more ease, our love flows like a river and we walk as radiant and alive women.
Our capacity to receive pleasure from all of life is woven in our ability to access the deep well of feminine wisdom that resides within us. Once we bring this part of ourselves online, we begin to walk in the soft, sweet power of our full feminine frequency - the truth of who we are as women. Invite yourself deeper, woman. Who you will meet here will change everything.
Written by Autumn Rose
Instagram @embodyjaguar